Today I went to Shin Kong department store for my most favorite idol named Jay Chou. He has a sing to sign in there. The activity will be start at pm7:00, but I’m already got there at pm3:00. In order to more close him and see clearly, it’s all worthwhile.
When I got Shin Kong department store, I was shock by lots of Jay’s fans. They are already sat there in the line. I think I’m early enough, but I was underestimating the Jay’s fans. Soon I’m stand in line and wait the number card. I was waiting in a cold day outside with excite mood.
Wow! There comes Jay. Every fans screams and shouts. Jay walks on the stand, and sings a song named “rainbow”. It’s my first time to see and so close him. He has a soft voice and unique sounds. I was already fascinated by his music. Although he just sings only one song, I’m contented. Finally we take out our CD to let Jay sign it. I said “Go for it” to him, and he raise his head give me a smile. I think it will be a special memory in my life.
2 則留言:
Hi, Mark.
This experience is so special and different for you, right? Seeing the artist we love so much really makes us be excited. I also have my own favorite artists, but they are all at Japan.
And then I found some mistakes about the verb tenses. In the first paragraph, you wrote "He has a sing to sign in there", but I think it should be written "He had a sing to sign there.". Because the activity had been held, I think you should use the simple past.
http://www.cybertranslator.idv.tw/grammar/sequence.htm
These are some tips that can make you understand the verb tense more clearly.
Hello, Mark.
I found you still has some mistakes in this article. In the first sentence, you used the simple past to express the affair has happened, but the following sentences you wrote are almost used the simple present.
The first mistake is that you wrote "The activity will be start at pm7:00, but I’m already got there at pm3:00." I think you should write "The activity would be start at pm7:00, but I got there at pm3:00."
The second mistake is that you wrote "In order to more close him and see clearly, it’s all worthwhile." I think you sould write "In order to be more close to him and saw clearly, it was all worthwhile." But the mistakes of this sentence are not only the verb tense but also the fragments. You lost the verb after the phrase "in order to" and the preposition after the adjtive "close".
This time I found four mistakes, and I will find the other mistakes for you next time.
These are some tips about the verb tense and the fragments. I think it will be helpful to you.
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/601/01/
http://www.cybertranslator.idv.tw/grammar/sequence.htm
http://www.cybertranslator.idv.tw/grammar/fragments.htm
張貼留言