Last Saturday I went to a concert with my senior high classmates. They are studying in Taichung, too. This concert is hold in National Chung Hsing University, near by my school, but I should go to Tunghai University to takes them here. Since we graduate this is we first time playing together in Taichung.
The concert was start; we’re all fallen very exciting. Because we were early wait in line, we can see the singer clearly. We jump and wave our hands till the concert over. It’s completely exhausted because the concert was taken 7 hours. But they were only one group I really love, it’s named Sodagreen. The sound of vocal was very soft, and his song makes me impression.
After the concert, we decided to go to Feng Chia night market. We ate lots of delicious foods and chatted happily. Besides we met an artist in night market, it was really lucky. The time went fast; we still had much thing to talk to each other, so we decided to live at my classmate’s home. We didn’t sleep but just chatted and laughed all night, that moment seemed to bring me back to the senior school life. The schedule of tomorrow was that when to the flower festival in Shinshou.
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Hi, Mark. What a wonderful trip you had. I really envy you that you have some senior high classmates also study at Taichung. None of my senior high classmates studies at Taichung. You are lucky.
But there are some errors in this article. At the first paragraph, you wrote "This concert is hold in National Chung Hsing University, near by my school," I think the concert was on last Saturday, so you should write "This concert was held in National Chung Hsing University," and the phrase "near by", it should be put together without a space. So the compelete sentence is "This concert was held in National Chung Hsing University, where is nearby my school," after the comma, you should put a relative pronoun to make the sentence be compelete.
About the verb tense, the phrase and the relative pronoun, here are some useful tips, and then you can take a look.
http://www.cybertranslator.idv.tw/grammar/sequence.htm
http://www.cybertranslator.idv.tw/grammar/phrases.htm
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/645/01/
I found a wrong place in your article. (They are studying in Taichung、too.)---(They are studying in Taichung, too. )
Hi, Mark. I found there are some grammar errors at the last sentence of the first paragraph.
You wrote "Since we graduate this is we first time playing together in Taichung." In my opinion, you may wanted to express that when you graduated, you didn't play with your senior high classmates before this time, but the sentence is translated directly from Taiwanese, and is not accepted by English users. I think it should be written "Since we graduated, this has been the first time that we play together in Taichung." The word since is a time adverb and it is always used in a present prefect tense.
This is the tip of the tense, and I hope it can help you.
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/601/01/
Hi, Mark. I found some errors in the second paragraph of this article.The first error is that you wrote "The concert was start." I think you should write "The concert was started." This form is correct of the passive tense. About the passive tense, you can watch here: http://www.cybertranslator.idv.tw/grammar/passive_translation.htm
Though it tells us that how to translate the passive tense into Chinese, it also shows some correct passive tenses.
The second error is that you wrote "we’re all fallen very exciting." Actally, I don't understand this sentence, but I guess you may want to express you were all excited. So I suggest you write "we were all very excited." it would be better and clear.
The third error is that you wrote "Because we were early wait in line, we can see the singer clearly." I think it should be written "Because we waited early in the line, we could see the singers clearly." in the former clause, you can't put two verbs, were and wait, together without any conjunction, and in the latter clause, you should use the past tense and the word "singer" should be write "singers" I think there was not only a singer, right? About these errors, you can watch here: http://www.cybertranslator.idv.tw/grammar/sequence.htm
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/604/01/
The forth error is that you wrote "We jump and wave our hands till the concert over." I think you should write "We jumped and waved our hands till the concert was over." Remember, the concert is a past affair, so when you decribe it, you should use the past tense. And then the word "over" is not a verb, so you should put a verb between "concert" and "over" These are some tips, and I hope it is helpful to you.
http://www.cybertranslator.idv.tw/grammar/sequence.htm
http://www.cybertranslator.idv.tw/grammar/adjectives.htm
Hi, Mark. When reading this article, I found an error at the forth line of the second paragraph. You wrote "It’s completely exhausted because the concert was taken 7 hours." I think you should write "we were completely exhausted because the concert was taken 7 hours." I think the subject should be people, so you can't use "it"
About the subject and the verb, you can watch here: http://www.cybertranslator.idv.tw/grammar/sbagreement.htm
"The concert was start", I thought you can write this way " When the concert has started".
"Because we were early wait in line, we can see the singer clearly", you can write that way "We were early wait in line for the sake of we could see the singer clearly".
"We jump and wave our hands till the concert (over)", that it's not good to write this way. You can modified like this "We jump and wave our hands till the (concert's end)" .
"But they were only one group I really love", you an add (the) in the sentence.
"But they were (the)only one group I really love".
"it's named Sodagreen", ah... it's much better to write like this "the group's name is Sodagreen.
"and his song (makes) me (impression)",I thought you should modified like this " and his song (made) me (impressiveness)".
"The time went fast", I suggest you use a phrase there "tempus fugit".
"we still had (much thing) to talk to each other", you should modified that way " we still had many things got to talk to each other".
"We didn't sleep but (just) chatted and laughed all night", I regard that write (just) there is wrong. You got remove the adapter.
"The schedule of tomorrow was that (when) to the flower festival in Shinshou", I thought you should remove (that) and the (when) I think that you were want use went.
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