We moved on at 10 o’clock, and met other people who were from different universities. They are all my classmate’s friends, including boys and girls. This trip was just like a fellowship. Today was a holiday, and the flower festival is very popular, so we stuck in the traffic jam. About 2 hours, we arrived to Shinshou.
When we got Shinshou, I encountered my classmate Rachel, after say hello with she, I keep going to the goal. When we got there we didn’t see the Flower Sea but the People Sea first. But there had a variety of flowers, the view was I never seen. Today was very hot and too many people, so we didn’t stay too long and when home in the afternoon.
In evening we had dinner together, chatting something interesting about our senior high school life and everything happened in these two days. I thanked my classmates that they made me pass two happy days. They are my best friend and this trip will become the beautiful memory between us.
10 則留言:
I found a wrong place in your article.(We moved on at 10 o』clock.)---(We moved on at 10 o'clock.)
Hi, I'm Katie. I like your article because you articles always very fun. But you still have some mistakes in your article. I think this sentence you might change to another. "...and met other people who "came" from different universities." You can watch here.
http://www.cybertranslator.idv.tw/grammar/verbs.htm
And this aentence I think you need to change. "They are all my classmate’s friends, including boys and girls." I think if you change to "The boys and girls are all my classmate's friends" would be better. I think you cna watch here.
http://www.cybertranslator.idv.tw/grammar/combiningskills.htm
And here, you might to change to "...so we "were" stuck in the traffic jam." You can watch here.
http://www.cybertranslator.idv.tw/grammar/verbs.htm
You might need to add a common would be better. "When we got Shinshou, I encountered my classmate, Rachel..." You can watch here.
http://www.cybertranslator.idv.tw/grammar/comma.htm
And i think you need to change the sentence to another. "...after "saying" hello with "her", I "kept" going to the goal.
I think you need to add a common in here would be better. "When we got there, we didn’t see the Flower Sea but the People Sea first." You can watch here.
http://www.cybertranslator.idv.tw/grammar/comma.htm
I think this sentence would need to change to "Today was very hot and "there were" too many people, so we didn’t stay too long and "went" home in the afternoon.
"Today was (a) holiday" I thought maybe you can cancel the (a). It's no need to add on this places.
"and the flower festival (is) very popular", I thought you should modified this verb. The time was past so you should change into (was).
"They (are all) my classmate’s friends", if you write this way the chinese meaning would like this "他們是我全部的同學的朋友". So I regard you should write (all are) that the mening would be "他們都是我同學的朋友".
"we arrived (to) Shinshou", I thought you should change into (at).
"after say hello with she", you modified two place. Add an (a) in front of (hello) and change (with) into (to).
"When we got there we didn’t see the Flower Sea (but) the People Sea first", you may better change into (yet). I f you use (but) that the chinese meaning would be stranged.
"Today was very hot and too many people", I thought you might add (there) after (people), like this "Today was very hot and too many people there"; that way can make your sentence more clear.
"I thanked my classmates that they made me (pass) two happy days", I regard use (pass) there is not correct. You should write (had) at this place.
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